(You’ll find dozens more here. The man did talk a lot.)
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class…save Congress.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.
I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be–a Christian.
I don’t like to commit myself regarding heaven and hell. You see, I have friends in both places.
We have the best government that money can buy.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
And let’s give Aesop some credit for inspiration:
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Mark Twain (bless his Connecticut Yankee heart) offered some
very fine advice that took me a lifetime to hear.
Substitute damn every time you’re inclined to write very; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
To the left is my first blog post – from 2009. It was an homage to Atrios and below is his first in 2002. Atrios was annonymous for the first years but was eventually revealed to be one Dr. Duncan Black, an economist in Philadelphia. From the first, he was the essential read in the lefty blogshpere. His pitch perfect (and utterly original) language inversions and his economy of words elevate him – in my lights – to Mark Twain and Will Rogers territory.
Today, he will post the winner (#1!!) in his top ten countdown to the Wanker of the Decade! Also today, I say to him congrats and thanks for a decade of delicious stuff.
(Wikipedia says the traditional gift for a Tenth Anniversary is tin/aluminum. Anyone know where I should send it?)
I watched the repeat last night of the Mark Twain Award ceremony from 2008. George Carlin was the honoree – posthumously, as he’d died only a few months before. It’s nice to know that he knew about it and was even planning his speech. They showed this video – see what a nice Irish Catholic boy from Queens NY can do!