Even worse, this must have made sense to someone

Blogfriend IzaakMac at I Want Ice Water! made me chuckle this morning (regular funnies over there).

Want more Mark Twain?

(You’ll find dozens more here. The man did talk a lot.)

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class…save Congress.                 

Reader, suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html#yXBbzo76h7MXaAZH.99

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be–a Christian.

I don’t like to commit myself regarding heaven and hell. You see, I have friends in both places.

We have the best government that money can buy.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html#yXBbzo76h7MXaAZH.99

And let’s give Aesop some credit for inspiration:

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.           

 

George Takei gets all the good stuff

Like this:

We seem to be birthin’ an entirely new species! Witness the two year olds . . .

First the basketball kid:

Now the dancer:

 

mindless (adj.): having no intelligent purpose, meaning, or direction

(thanks to friend Ed for this)

Another picture I like

Although I do think Ginsberg would look better is a very soft grey. (Hat tip cousin Jeff.)

 

It’s been a while, but Maru is still doing his thing

On his sixth birthday comes this “Best of” Maru video. Highlights at :48, 1:18 and 2:50.

A spoonful-of-sugar for a grumpy day. A leave-me-alone day. Or any day.

Glenn Beck really knows who his audience is – and so do his advertisers

This ad appears at the top of the front page on Glenn Beck’s site, The Blaze. Brilliant marketing – that’ll bring in the new customers alright.

Twitter’s April Fool . . . right?

Starting today, we are shifting to a two-tiered service: Everyone can use our basic service, Twttr, but you only get consonants. For five dollars a month, you can use our premium “Twitter” service which also includes vowels.

In 2012, American teevee came through once again

At ToolServer (some sort of Wikipedia offshoot), there’s a nifty compilation of  2012’s top Wikipedia searches by language. This one particularly caught my eye (and yes, I checked, that “G” is indeed a search for the letter G. Almost four million times, Germans went to Wikipedia for information on the letter G). Go here for more list fun.

Great moments in television . . .

http://www.drunkronswanson.com/

These are wonderful

Today might be the last time this is funny

UPDATE ANDD YIKES!!! –  AS OF NOVEMBER 23: Yikes, the vid I posted here was  a prez debate vid, I’ve tried to get it back up but it keeps reverting to this Twilight thingee. I’m helpless in the face of youtube’s secret army of confuserers.

MOE’S ORIGINAL OCTOBER POST: BadLipReading videos are a genuinely original form. No one else has ever done anything like what they do. This may be their best.

It lives!

It claims to be a collapsing silo, but that’s a lie. They are here, and now they walk among us. (h/t Jonathan Turley)

You need only watch 5 seconds of Maru today

Start at :40 in. It’s Maru at his best.

A star is born

Maru has been ‘discovered’ (having millions of followers on your youtube channel will do that).

h/t Dependable Renegade

And so it went

The terror is ended.

This is 20 years old and just went viral this week. Such are the mysterious ways of the internet

Well, there are bar mitzvahs and then there are bar mitzvahs . . .

Bill Mahar explains the difference between a Model-T and bags of money

Perfect.

This is about right. Yup.

I was just reading my way around Under The Mountain Bunker (‘Come for the apocolypse – stay for the coffee’) and came upon this Tom Tomorrow panel. 

One problem solved: It’s okay to be Takei. But what does one say in Virginia now that ‘climate change’ is banned?

I can’t wait for the Billy Jean version

Rita Hayworth dances to Stayin’ Alive.

They stay on the A-list no matter what they say or do. It’s a rule.

I’m just catching up with Moonshinepatriot’s Bobblespeak Translations, which goes up weekly – most weeks amyway – after the Sunday gasbags finish with their weekly full frontal assault on reason – and the poor beleaguered English language.

Here’s’ a delicious little bit of  ‘translation’ from May 27, Meet the Press.

Yup. That’s Irish – at least in New York

Just heard this in a Comedy Central commercial from some Irish comic:

St Patrick  is the Patron Saint of Strangers Peeing in your Front Garden.

I love that.

And yet another laugh out loud moment

My morning paper has been amusing me lately. Frank Cerabino, a Cox media columnist thinks Florida needs a ‘state gun’. (Is he onto something here?.)

He closes the column with this:

And once we have an official State firearm, we can move onto other similar designations, such as an official State cancer.

Another “I laughed out loud” moment

I’m not a fan of NY Times columnist Gail Collins, nor do I often read her. But last week I did – from that column, an image for the ages:

I once rode in a car with [candidate] Bill Clinton, during which he gave a non-stop disquisition on highway funding that I found a little disjointed until I looked up and noticed that he had actually nodded off and was talking in his sleep.

Clinton to a “T”. Under the political charm offensive, there was always a wonk.

Ever heard of Kulula airlines?

They’re pretty damn good at self-deprecating humor.

“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

Is it too late to qualify for an Oscar nomination?

It’s time for . . . Maru!

His videographer has again and most thoughtfully given us a compilation of the best of the (recent) best.