A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing’s moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls it down and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress! They’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”
“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.
The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”
(Thanks to friend Jane.)
Posted in broken government, comedy, Congress critters, Government, Politics, Sunday funnies
Tagged broken government, comedy, congress, political jokes, Politics, Sunday funnies
Thanks Don in Mass
Well, apart from hearing David Gregory refer to Irene as “this monstrous storm” (while showing video of people actually outside in the rain) 24 hours after it was downgraded, I did find this:
Plus Bobblespeak will be up shortly (I hope). Meanwhile, want to weep? Sorry, I know it’s not funny, but neither is anything much right now. (same source as above)
I’ve been looking, but there’s nothing funny out there. Maybe later.
The July 24 Bobblespeak Translations are up! Enjoy.
David Gregory and Bill Daley are serious
The ego of the pundit (and producer) knows no bounds. On Meet the Press today, Gregory called his round table discussion (which was actually quite good) a Jobs Summit. Really.
Just like Nixon/Mao. Just like Reagan/Gorbachev. You know, a summit.
If you watch the Sunday morning shows and shout at the TV, you should:
- examine your priorities
- question your sanity, and
- go read the Bobblespeak Translations as soon as they’re up. So you can find out what they really said.
NOTE: Primary target of ridicule is David Gregory and he’s a worthy target. (Oddly, today’s offering is not nearly as snarky as is the norm. I guess reality is now officially insane and impervious to satire.) And by the way, the metaphor of the day across networks was ‘kick the can down the road’. I heard it three times from different people. I guess they all got the memo.
Really. In Collier County Florida.
Instead of Bank of America foreclosing on some Florida homeowner, the homeowners had sheriff’s deputies foreclose on the bank.
It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn’t owe a dime on their home.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
I can’t find anything funny today. Honest. It’s probably me.
From Political Irony:
Satirist Andy Borowitz reports that a new poll shows that 97% of Americans favor SEAL Team Six — the elite unit that took out Osama bin Laden — landing on the US Capitol building and taking out Congress by force. According to the study “There’s a broad consensus out there that the Navy SEALs get things done, and that they would make C-SPAN more fun to watch.”
In related news, in reporting on bin Laden’s death, Fox News apologized for mispronouncing Barack Obama’s name as “George W. Bush.”
From The Onion:
Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People
BELMONT, MA—Though Mitt Romney is considered to be a frontrunner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the national spotlight has forced him to repeatedly confront a major skeleton in his political closet: that as governor of Massachusett… …more »