Category Archives: comedy

I hope I can be this witty when I’m old (really old I mean)

You’ll be glad if you stay to the end; it’s short. And clever. And funny. And kind of endearing.

 

Not political: more Fry and Laurie

I could watch these guys all day. (Thanks friend Shep for this one)

Not The Onion

The damn thing is here.

The. Thanksgiving. Classic.

George Carlin sings. Really.

I watched the repeat last night of the Mark Twain Award ceremony from 2008.  George Carlin was the honoree - posthumously, as he’d died only a few months before. It’s nice to know that he knew about it and was even planning his speech. They showed this video – see what a nice Irish Catholic boy from Queens NY can do!

Comrades! Tis the season!

Sleeper cell?

A lot of the headlines in my paper this week are about the urgent national need to get shopping. So I guess it’s time

Kiss the children and oil up your weapons – it’s nearly time for me and my fellow liberals to pick up those arms and go once again into the breach in our never-ending War on Christmas!

Does something sinister this way come?

Cute kittehs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cute kittehs everywhere. And they pretend they’re the ones being pushed around by the big bad humans, but I ask you – who’s really  in charge here?

(thanks friend Shep)

Sunday funny

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing’s moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls it down and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress! They’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

(Thanks to friend Jane.)

Herman Tyson – viral by tonight no doubt

Mike Tyson? Mike Tyson? Criminey, the guy is good!

SNL. Still funny.

Here, perhaps the best Seth Myers rant ever. He has some fun with the Eurozone crisis and the Greek debt and wonders if the 17 countries of Europe can agree on how to solve the problems, when a unanimous vote is required:

Unanimous? I can’t get three friends to agree on a restaurant. Can you imagine how hard it would be if none of us spoke the same language and our grandparents killed each other in World War II?

 

The Cain saga just broke my brain. Let us laugh.

In South Carolina, you get arrested. On Wall Street, you get adulation.

Different strokes, different folks.

A woman in South Carolina was arrested for public obscenity for  having these on her car. It’s still in Court.

On Wall Street it’s different dontchaknow. Behold the industry icon, the brass balls that keep the world spinning and the testosterone flowing in lower Manhattan. This manifestation of the ‘Bull Market Deity’ lives and snorts outside the NY Stock Exchange, where he is also a popular tourist attraction. Whatever you do, do not tell the cops!

Conan does a Jon Stewart: Can you say ‘press release’?

We’ve got a release here and a good looking news reader – who needs rewrite?

How can I market my books and myself for FREE?

Run for president.

From a Bachmann email to her supporters yesterday:

 

Politics, like all of life, needs a little more cowbell

The GOP slate sings

Not really. But The Capital Steps do it for them. Friend Jane sent this:

These guys are basically a performance troupe. (The videos come from Herbunk, who makes lots of cool stuff.) By the way, I’ ve seen The Steps on stage; they’re a hoot and not a bit partisan – it’s equal opportunity mockery for them.

Bored? Who, me?

I’ll play your stupid game if you’ll get my damn dinner going.

Free Lego Man!

Here in SW Florida, a serious civil liberties issue is brewing.  Ego Leonard (left) was enjoying an innocent afternoon on Siesta Key when a paranoid citizen dialed 911. And the fellow was taken into custody.

Ego’s a big fella – 8 feet tall and, um, husky, but that wasn’t enough to save himself from the grasp of Sheriff’s deputies. They grabbed him, and excused their outrategous act by saying he’s ‘property’. That’s nonsense of course – one might as well say corporations are people which we know is ridiculous.

The Sheriff’s office, claiming they don’t know who owns’ this ‘property’ now has him confined, possibly in chains!  Oh, the indignity, the humiliation.

Lego Man wears a t-shirt with a mysterious message. Even now linguists at universities around the country (none in Florida; our Governor won’t permit it) are poring over the enigmatic words “No Real Than You Are” trying to  discern their meaning (it does sound a bit like something from Stephen Colbert, does it not?).

And meanwhile, as this innocent fellow is in the crude custody of government, good civil libertarians (as well as those artsy types) continue the good fight. Lego Man will not be abandoned. Lego Man will be free!

How could I have missed this guy?

Ever heard of Uncle Jay? I hadn’t till I found myself there yesterday while following some new links. Behold . . . Uncle Jay, citizen.

There’s lots more. He doesn’t seem to have a channel, just click around.

Maher’s writers write signs

Bobblespeak has a fine ear

Meet The Press - EJ Dionne and some congressman I never heard of seemed sane and made some sense. The rest not so much. But lookee! Peggy Noonan agrees with me (I agree with her?) about, what’s ‘er name, Palin.

Still the best car commercial ever. Ever. Ever.

Data does Jean Luc

For Star Trek fans:

Maru takes-off on his own schedule thankyouverymuch

Maru, captured on the runway by Dependable Renegade, contemplating his next move.

Let the party begin

Charles Pierce, one of the snarkiest and funniest political observers in the land, has a permanent blog home at last! Visit The Politics Blog at Esquire for his delightful take on almost anything.

Here’s some delicious from today:

Newt, you see, is a man of ideas, and one of his ideas is that he is a  historical figure already. Rarely do you see a man visibly carving himself in  marble before your eyes.

Now that’s some wordsmithing.

Alec Baldwin? How much pain can Perry handle?

h/t Mac

 

 

Ted Haggard Appearing on Celebrity Wife Swap . . .

Well that’s unsettling. But there’s more.

. . . with Gary Busey

On the surface, it might seem like an unlikely pairing, but there are several surprising parallels between Busey and Haggard.  Busey is a born-again Christian and active minister with Promise Keepers, and Haggard has returned to the ministry as pastor of St. James, a new nondenominational Christian church in Colorado Springs.Haggard resigned from the New Life Church in disgrace in 2006, amid revelations that he had had a drug-fueled sexual relationship with a gay male former escort. He recently admitted to GQ that “probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual,” though he has denied since the scandal that he is gay.

Haggard is also slated to make a cameo as himself in a Christian sex comedy promoting abstinence, called The Waiting Game, assuming the movie can scrape together the funding.

Fry and Laurie say gay and the next thing you know . . .

The word gay used to be a lovely word . . . A LOVELY WORD.

Uh-huh.

“Texas was having a 100-year drought, so Rick Perry asked people to pray.  Now Texas is on fire – that
tells us a lot about the power of prayer.”

                                             -  Bill Maher, Tonight Show

Already?

But he just started his book tour!