Category Archives: Amusing miscellany

Donald Trump triumphant!

I just read a so so sci-fi novel called Flash Forward. It was once a TV series, one I really liked (and that usually guarantees cancellation. The Unusuals, Jericho, Detroit 1-8-7. Ah well.) The series took  the premise of the book and made it exciting and dramatic – which is why I stayed with the book  hoping it would get better. It didn’t. A terrific fictional premise underexploited.

But I did come away with this little gem. Within a list of  things that will be true in 2030 was this:

Donald Trump was building a pyramid in the Nevada desert to house his eventual remains. When done, it will be ten meters taller than the Great Pyramid at Giza.

Giggle, giggle.

Maru is three! Let the party commence!

Maru! The most famous cat on the intertubes – probably the most famous cat in the world – has  his own facebook page here and his own YouTube channel here (with almost 3 million subscribers!). Either place you can find all the videos that made Maru famous;  you’ll see Maru eating, napping, running, staring and even refusing to look at the camera. Maru’s charm is that his very ordinariness has made him a star. Maru is us.

Here is a video collage. Watch it and you’ll love the guy too.

On E-Bay

I think she’d do better licensing the hat than selling it. Right now it’s only up to $8,229.00 so this is the time to get your bid in. (And all along I thought she was Eugenie!)

Fairness: it’s all in a good cause.

(h/t Ed)

Tomorrow – it’s only a day away

From Atrios yesterday – this is going to be a real problem in our future. Are we even thinking about it? Are the folks we elect to think about such things thinking about it? Probably not. Guess we’ll just wait till granny’s pantry runs out and she says ‘now what?’.

Paratransit Is Going To Be Expensive

“I don’t know how universal this trend is, but suburbs are not well-equipped to provide transit services for those who can’t drive.

. . .  half a century later, suburban communities designed around the autombile are facing difficult questions.

What happens when many residents can no longer get behind the wheel?

Who will bear the costs of getting them to groceries, to doctors and to a host of other places?

“As they age, they need more services, and those suburbs are not designed for more services,” said McIlwain, of the Urban Land Institute.

At least someone’s getting along

I don’t think these two of Elvis’s creatures are thinking of political positioning.

Weapons of mass reconstruction

Snake dies from silicone poisoning after biting model’s breasts during photoshoot.

A boa constrictor. Honest.

We deserve a break today

Click CC at bottom – it’s better with captions.

I thought I was done for the night, but . . .

Dependable Renegade had this – first look at a Super Bowl ad.

Stuff you get in email

Add together the last two digits of the year you were born to the age you will be this year. It will equal 111.

Why? Fer elvis’ sake, someone explain why before my head explodes!

(h/t Jane)

I’m still avoiding the hard stuff, so here: It’s a Daily Show reunion!

Skip the chit-chat and go straight to 1:35 into the video. This is from something called “Night of Too Many Stars”, a fundraiser for something that was held sometime somewhere. But who cares really when there’s an opportunity to see Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell go all song-and-dance-men.

Because I need to change the subject

Spam bots

All bloggers get ‘spam bots’, fake comments automatically generated by some sort of bot in an attempt to attract readers to another site, where something is for sale. As they are computer generated and usually from a place where English is a third language, the content is often quite comical. Almost always it tells you in a charmingly illiterate way that your blog is just the bestest evah!

Today, I got one that takes it a step further – it mentions by name my blog and two of my categories and the comment tried to attach itself to an actually relevant post. If you follow all that. Anyone else getting this upgraded version of the spam junk?

Here it is in its entirely:

howdy Whatever Works , i comment your blog , that a nice blog and perfect. Best for me. best review for The Daily Rush and climate deniers content. i will plan to read and comment your blog.

How’s that abstinence tour going?

An hour after accusing all of us of devolving while entertainingourselves with gossip, let me show you I accept my share of the guilt by myself engaging in gossip – here and now. Because I love a cheap thrill and can’t help myself.

So — too many Smoothies or a baby bump? I report. You decide.

Before I lose ALL my readers . . .

. . . which is a [temporary I hope] side effect of being distracted and unbloggy, the very least I can do is throw out a video for your amusement. Here ya’ go! The Door.

OMG! 10-10-10

OMG!

A whimsey for y’all*

Andrew Sullivan must have an intern trolling you tube and vimeo 24/7 to find fresh and original stuff. This one is also just delightful. Hold on for 20 or so seconds.

More from these two here.

* UPDATED FOR ED WHO SAYS I DON’T SAY Y’ALL ENOUGH.

I want to start over and be HER!

I love this girl. This woman. This person who has a brilliant future because she shed her past in a piece of brilliant performance art.  Meet the young woman who quit her job via email, most creatively employing a poster board . . . I’m pretty sure an exciting future awaits her.

UPDATE: Oh sadness, sadness, grief and tears – the story is a FAKE.  The link/slide show has gone viral with a million hits since yesterday, so it can’t be all bad, since this one was created for submission to a casting call. So still, good on her.

Ouch.

Friend Laurie sent this – caricature sure, but still funny . . . (please remember that I drink well water and don’t have a clothes dryer)

From: The Manitoba Herald The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt and pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck. 

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.  

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,”  said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.

“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said. 

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul &Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said.

 

To lighten your load

Housecleaning here at the blog this morning (I know, I know. The house, I know). I found a vid dropped in comments by The Arborist* some time back. And what a delight it is, especially if you ever loved Star Wars. And even if you didn’t.

(* – Arb, I’m in HTML mode and can’t seem to link. Sorry.)

More of this please

Don’t drunk-dial Freedom Works!  (h/t Dependable Renegade)

This brilliant fellow has his own channel. Here.

Beggers the imagination

Conservapedia.com  (run by the spawn of Phyllis Schafley) is an amusement that gets about one one-thousandth the hits that Wikipedia gets. As stunningly stupid as that concept was, it has now been surpassed.

Meet popmodal.com. They bill themselves as the “Conservative Alternative to YouTube”.  Honest. I’m speechless.

(I got there following links from a blog post by my conservative friend Steve. It set me off to find out who was this Dr. James David Manning who is staging a ‘trial’ to prove Obama wasn’t born in the US and is also a CIA agent ad a Marxist. Which should be amusing to say the least.

Actually, yes!

From the Cheezburger network’s totallylookslike, here’s a real one:

President McKinley totally looks like Jeff Daniels. Totally.

Friday, but this isn’t the oldie

Ever since the emergence of the Irish dance troupe Riverdance, there seem to be more and more dance troupes emerging onto the pop scene. Which is only good –  I love it when young people are exposed to more art. Especially forms that are new to them. This one – from Britain’s Got Talent – is clearly the result of hard hard work and extreme discipline. And the final product is superb. Not perfect, but these guys are entirely self taught. Note also the ongoing influence of Michael Jackson, who created an entirely new American dance form. And it will survive. Flawless:

It is what it is

Okay this is not the New York City Ballet, but then they wouldn’t think to do it on treadmills would they? OK-GO seem to be a musical group whose videos put them into visually odd places. They’re all on vimeo.

Here’s my favorite.  It’s silly. It’s corny. It has no redeeming social value. And it makes me smile.

A new tool for all of us

I recently experienced a reasonable cordial exchange with the local gendarmes, wherein they gave me a piece of paper that said TICKET and I gave them a lot of money. Pleasant as eveyrone involved was, I would just as soon not repeat the experience.

Now Elaine points me to something new –  The National Speed Trap Exchange. Go there and find your State, then your City and you’ll see that people have been posting locations of regular speed traps in the area. Other people weigh in with agree or disagree. So if there are five agrees vs zero disagrees, you might assume that the location is in fact a speed trap. This is genius.

We are such interesting critters

We are always learning new things about ourselves – as individuals and as a species. Often what we learn is esoteric and doesn’t seem to have any application in our lives. And just as often, it does, whether we or you or I can see it or not.

And sometimes what we learn is just fun to know. Among the most amusing?  When humans read the written word, it absolutely doesn’t have to be spelled correctly. The word can be jumbled – but as long as the first and last letters are correct and the word is in some context, we can read it every time, without skipping a beat. Lookee here:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Thanks for that Patriot Act thing . . .

. . . but we really don’t need it. Not when Americans step up to be real Americans.

According to TPM this morning, “A Louisiana sheriff plans to arm volunteers with shotguns, riot shields, batons, and a .50-caliber machine gun mounted on a “war wagon,” as part of “Operation Exodus,” a program to provide security in the event of a terrorist attack or civic unrest. “It’s a calling,” he says.”


He’s doing this with local guys who – from this picture and the video at the link – appear to have reached military age.

Okay, I know this is harmless and maybe a little sweet, even civic and upright. But Homeland Security it is not.  And I am amused. Which is, after all, the most important thing.

Sam / Smokey: surviving has drawbacks

PBS ran a documentary tonight on Sam Cook. For you young’uns, Sam Cook was THE crossover recording artist, moving from R&B to the pop charts back in the late 50’s, early 60’s. An upstanding kind of guy, he died young – and inexplicably – in a seedy situation gone wrong. So there’s your Sam Cook bio.

It had already begun.

As is typical in these sorts of documentaries, old timers who knew Cook and worked with him were a big part of the narrative. And it was all very enjoyable until . . . Smokey Robinson came on the screen. I thought it was that guy who married Liza Minelli, but no, it really was Smokey Robinson. It ought to be illegal to pull skin that tight, especially when the skin around the eyes and the lips and the chin and the eyebrows won’t cooperate. Because then it looks like the features were pasted on a piece of construction paper.

Ruined the show.

Neither can I

This post is here for one reason, and one reason only.

To show you this picture.

(I just cribbed it from TexasTrailerTrash.)

Let me be totally tasteless