(You’ll find dozens more here. The man did talk a lot.)
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class…save Congress.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.
I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html#yXBbzo76h7MXaAZH.99If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be–a Christian.
I don’t like to commit myself regarding heaven and hell. You see, I have friends in both places.
We have the best government that money can buy.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html#yXBbzo76h7MXaAZH.99
And let’s give Aesop some credit for inspiration:
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
You can have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, or democracy. But you cannot have both.
Whatever Works 
And then there was Will Rogers: “Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously, and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be vice versa.”
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JR – what happened to your gravatar? Not showing up here. Ahhh, Will Rogers, another jewel in our firmament.
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Good quotes, though I wonder if some of them are attributed to Twain incorrectly. Since he’s been dead for a long time, we’ll never know I suppose.
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bruce – with most of those quotes, you’ll find multiple versions, all attributed to him, but they differ a bit from each other.
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Google can provide a source for each quote.
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I find myself in agreement with every one of Twain’s quotes, Moe. Hmm, I wonder if we might be related? 🙂
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Well I have already decided I am, so we must be related to each other then Jim. We are legion!!
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