Good morning. I am drowning. Not in water. Yet.

Before retiring, I visualized my life-to-come in various ways. All of them included devoting serious time to reading. I would do this in an orderly fashion – perhaps devoting one week to early American History and the next to environmental issues. Perhaps spend some time on the history of Persia/Iran which I find endlessly fascinating. It would be a civil life, a contemplative life. There would be order to it. I dreamed of a discipline I never had.

In the real world, I have twenty magazines at a time open to articles I’ve not yet finished – in the bathroom, on the bedside table, even here by my laptop so I can advance by mere minutes  into the article while rebooting. There are five or six books open on the nightstand. Just shoot me.

There is no order, no theme at all. A few weeks ago, just to give myself a rest from chastisement for failure to follow the ‘plan’, I grabbed some mystery novels at the library and read them to the exclusion of all else for days. And it was FUN. Until I realized that my little R&R had not had the slightest impact on my reading habits at all. I went right back to where I was – complete disorder.

 Such disconnect from what we want and what we do. I imagine – dear Elvis, I hope! – this is a shared experience.

I also hope things are okay for the guys and gals in Afghanistan, where it is the  222nd day of the ninth year of the War; 143 days until we are in the tenth year.

3 responses to “Good morning. I am drowning. Not in water. Yet.

  1. Unfortunately, I had always had visions of order in my ENTIRE life at retirement. I did it at 45, and at 60, I’m still as disorganized, reading about 4 books at once, and heck the mags just pile up forever it seems. I have given up any hopes of getting “organized”. YOu are most definitely not alone.

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    • Oh thank you Sherry. Isn’t it the pits to crave this order thing and never be able to acheive it? I have a friend who drives me nuts – if I dare mention to him that I want to get something done that I haven’t yet managed, he is utterly mystified. Because in his world if something needs doing, why . . . you just do it!

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  2. Pingback: And more good news to come I’m sure « Whatever Works

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