They stay on the A-list no matter what they say or do. It’s a rule.

I’m just catching up with Moonshinepatriot’s Bobblespeak Translations, which goes up weekly – most weeks amyway – after the Sunday gasbags finish with their weekly full frontal assault on reason – and the poor beleaguered English language.

Here’s’ a delicious little bit of  ’translation’ from May 27, Meet the Press.

I am not a fan of sport but Willard is

At NASCAR: fits right in, doesn’t he?

Most of my friends follow sport and some, I figure, define sport differently -  like what counts and what doesn’t. I’ve heard some say that ‘dressage’ is not sport. Some of course say it is sport. I can probably go either way (in terms of dressage  just to be clear). But given that some of those in the world of gas-baggery have taken notice of Mrs. Romneys fondness for dressage and Mr. Romney’s fondness for sport, I decided to noodle on this to see where I would stand, were I to stand anywhere.

So I compared sport to the arts. Now, since I’m of the school that “if it gets my attention or makes me think or even if I just oooh and aaaah, I’m calling it art”, I should allow the same broad definition for what is and what isn’t sport.

Ergo, for me anyway, allowing as I’m  not much of a fan of sport, I say dressage is sport.

Newt never disappoints

I think Newt’s just jealous of all the press attention being paid to Jeb Bush for speaking truth to power. So of course:

Newt Gingrich: elections are rigged for the rich

Everyone in Florida loves guns except the cops

News from Tallahassee this morning – the NRA wants those cops to get out of the way dammit.

The National Rifle Association . . .  is surveying state sheriff candidates on whether they’re willing to take a stand against the very association that will represent them in the Capitol if they win.

Their survey sent to candidates takes aim at the Florida Sheriff’s Association and other law enforcement groups, sheriffs and deputies that have opposed bills the two groups support.

Sure, the spelling is funny, but jeebus and uh-oh, look at those numbers

Spell checkers everywhere are being asked to work overtime this week as the Romney campaign keeps missing those typos. “Amercia” was bad enough, but misspelling the Gipper’s name? The Gipper’s Name??? Sacrilege!

Union busting. Voter suppresion. Lady parts.

Also “bomb, bomb, bomb . . . bomb, bomb Iran”.

The 2012 GOP platform, just like the old GOP platform.

J’accuse! Whatever.

Mitt Romney said this yesterday, apparently about Solyndra:

“an independent inspector general looked at this investment and concluded that the administration had steered money to friends and family, to campaign contributors.”

Here’s what the Deptartment of  Energy’s independent inspector general, Gregory Friedman actually said:

“We currently have 64 open investigations associated with the Recovery Act, nearly 25 percent of our current case load. Schemes under investigation include the submission of false information in applications for funding, fraudulent claims for rebates, claims for unallowable or unauthorized expenses, the directing of contracts and grants to friends and family, weatherization fraud to include mischarging, and other attempts to fraudulently obtain Recovery Act funds.”

CONCLUDE: To make a final judgment or determination

INVESTIGATE: To observe or inquire into

So there we are. Guilty until proven innocent. The American way. Any questions?

LET ME ADD: The Obama Bain ad was just as bad. But I like Obama, so there!

(h/t The Last of the Millenials)

 

Update: it’s still all about them. Hologram at eleven!

The story here is not that Romney gave his campaign some money, oh no my dears, the story is that CNN is reporting it first. It says so, in the fracking headline!

So is Obama going to bring it home?

UPDATE: Moe is currently accepting accolades below for having called this one exactly correctly.

Is it possible Joe Biden was chuckling up his sleeve and doing a set up Sunday when he spoke – awkwardly! – 0n gay marriage? He provided great material to  our cable gasbags, who’ve played with it for days now because, ha!, “we never know what is going to come out of Joe’s mouth”.

Pretty predictable both in execution and reaction. Joe knows that, so why not use it? (Although the Will & Grace bit was pure Biden.)

Obama talks somewhere today and will be asked. I  know this because it has been breathlessly reported all over the blogosphere that HE. WILL. BE. ASKED!

So is this the ‘two’ of a ‘one, two’ punch? Does the President of the United States, having seen the polls, declare himself for gay marriage?

That’s be cool. And not a bad move in an election year – it might help bring out the youth vote.

Thanks for getting rid of the nukes Senator, but we won’t need you anymore

So the Tea Party and Dick Armey and Karl Rove and all the Koch money and the poor souls who think they’re well served by being ground troops for this crowd did it, they got rid of Lugar. He just wasn’t pure enough.

A Lugar loss marks a sea change in both Indiana and Washington, where Lugar  has long played the role of Republican wise man, a sober internationalist who  could reach across the aisle to solve difficult problems.

In today’s political climate, however, Lugar’s bipartisan leanings were part  of his undoing — and the defeat of the man Richard Nixon once called “America’s  mayor” when he led Indianapolis will send chills down the spines of fellow GOP  incumbents seeking reelection in states where a conservative insurrection is  possible.

I knew (well, I remember) Vice-President Gore. And you, Gov. Romney, are no Al Gore.

Romney was at an auto company yesterday, speechifying:

“I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy, and . . .  the companies got back on their feet . . .  So, I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry has come back.”

As liberals gear up the outrage over that one, the push back will be ‘but Gore said he invented the internet’!!! Which, of course, he never said. And what he did say  was true.

To wit: as we now know, Gore was one of the first inductees into the Internet Hall of Fame cuz:

[he] was ”Instrumental in helping  to create the ‘Information Superhighway,’ Gore was one of the first government  officials to recognize that the Internet’s impact could reach beyond academia to  fuel educational and economic growth as well.”

While we contemplate stimulus vs austerity . . .

. . . herwith a tweet from Robert Reich, well known Clinton-era Commie (h/t UTMB, here); I will now add him to my Twitter feed.

Oh Florida, my Florida

As everyone knows, political conventioneers are the most decorous of visitors, which is why my Gov was quite annoyed yesterday when he indignantly denied a request from the Mayor of Tampa, host city to the upcoming RNC nominating convention. The Mayor had asked Scott to suspend concealed carry laws – only in the downtown  area and only for the duration of the convention.

That was too much for Scott: it would infringe on “sacred constitutional traditions” he said. Sacred. The ‘carry law’ is a precious’ right he said. Precious.

And, as any right thinking patriot knows, four days without the right to carry weapons anywhere that charged, partisan political folk gather, many of whom themselves will be carrying and many of whom will be falling down drunk (ever been to a political convention?) – why that would simply destroy our liberties and subject us forever to the whims of freedom-hating somethingorothers.

The head of the Brady Campaign said “nothing Florida does ever surprises me”. Ditto.

Anybody seen these guys?

I won’t miss Newt, but gosh I miss these two.

“The geezer empire strikes back”

We all know that rich old men, let loose by the Supreme Court’s cavalier and supposedly intellectual exercise in constitutional masturbation, Citizens United, are busy buying  themselves a Presidency.

Received from friend Ed today, this is Frank Rich, that elegant and terse practitioner of the English language,  in New York Magazine:

. . . 2012 may be seen as the election in which the geezer  empire struck back.

Who has ever said it better?

Step aside Mitt: hand the Etch-A-Sketch to Alan West

Joe McCarthy and some dumb Congress critter

Alan West, (R-from my embarrassed State of Florida) is on this weeks’ media menu (from which he will disappear until he says the next stupid thing). On CNN, he was asked about Ted Nugent’s comments (that would be the ones Nugent is ‘talking to’ the Secret Service about today):

“I don’t think the Motor City Madman has any ill will toward the President of United States of America.”

Ted Nugent speaks and I ask what is he waiting for?

No need to set up your death-by-cop, Ted. You have plenty of guns: just go ahead and instead of pointing yer weapon at a president (that’s what it sounds like you’d like to do) just turn it around and do yourself and save the rest of us the trouble.

“If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year,” Nugent said, according to a video posted on YouTube by the NRA. “If you can’t go home and get everybody in your lives to clean house in this vile, evil America hated administration, I don’t even know what you’re made out of.”

Yeah, sure, he’s talking about about the voting booth. Sure.

The people’s candidate: not that it matters anymore

Keith Fitzgerald, good guy

Vern Buchanan, my ethically-challenged Congressman, currently (actually I think this is the third time) under investigation by his tribe in the Congressional Ethics Committee, and previously investigated by Fed Election Commission and the FL AG, doesn’t need support from the little people.

A story in my paper this morning looks at funding so far for Vern and his challenger Keith Fitzgerald (go Keith go!).

First quarter funds:

• PACs: Vern 26.3%; Keith 17.9%
• “Other”: Vern 19.7%; Keith 0.3%
• Self: Vern 14.8%; Keith 0%
• Individuals: Vern 39.2%; Keith 81.7%

And Vern will win the prize. Count on it. USA! USA! USA!

 

Yeah, but how’d the book tour do Newt?

The debate fun is over.

I hear that the pudgy ethically-challenged, three-times-married, removed-from-office-by-his-own-party “candidate” for the GOP nomination is maybe not running anymore.

Santorum’s gone too.

Maybe they could do a warm up round before the next debate?

It devolves further: Now eating their own as Michelle Malkin calls Ann Coulter delusional. Wheeeeee!

Coulter is under the continued delusion that Sarah Palin was the problem with the 2008 ticket and not McCain. Later in the show, when Van Jones floated former Bush Secretary of State Condoleezza Rices name for VP, Coulter snorted again: “Too much like Palin.”

Say what?

Like her love object Chris Christie, Coulter has been taking many open shots at Palin lately.

Did I die and go to heaven? I mean Graceland?

Okay, full disclosure . . . the story only says that, to date, these three have accepted; Texas hasn’t heard yet from Romney. But for a brief moment, when I saw this headline, my heart went a pitter-patter. You know?

Holy hairpiece! Someone let Karl Rove out

The Wall Street Journal gave Karl Rove a bunch of pricey op-ed real estate today so he could say:

As for the killing of Osama bin Laden, Mr. Obama did what virtually any commander-in-chief would have done in the same situation. Even President Bill Clinton says in the film “that’s the call I would have made.” For this to be portrayed as the epic achievement of the first term tells you how bare the White House cupboards are.

Here’s what Clinton actually said: “He [Obama] took the harder and the more honorable path. When I saw what had happened, I thought to myself, `I hope that’s the call I would have made.’”

Little words mean a lot. But the king of spin knows that. That’s why he leaves them out.

 

You just know this is exactly how it would go

Just picked this up at Under The Mountain Bunker, a new favorite stop on the regular blogtour.

Speechless

Frank alerted me to this. I just don’t know what to say.

 

Josh does it so we don’t have to

TPM has all the races covered here - they’re updating continuously in real time.

Breaking news! Breaking news! Breaking news!! Newt wins Georgia. Just wow, eh?

What to do? What to do?

This story is of course everywhere, but it still bears repeating.

After a speech in Dallas on Thursday, Jeb Bush also recoiled: “I used to be a conservative, and I watch these debates and I’m wondering, I don’t think I’ve changed, but it’s a little troubling sometimes when people are appealing to people’s fears and emotion rather than trying to get them to look over the horizon for a broader perspective.”

The establishment is taking to their fainting couches again.

Joe the frackin’ plumber? Amongst us again

I thought he’d gone away. I hope he appreciates that Obama made him.

The man is obsessed

Someone tell Rick Santorum that Woodstock was nearly 50 years ago . . .

“Woodstock is the great American orgy. This is who the Democratic Party has become. They have become the party of Woodstock. The prey upon our most basic primal lusts, and that’s sex. And the whole abortion culture, it’s not about life. It’s about sexual freedom. That’s what it’s about. Homosexuality. It’s about sexual freedom.”

Nevertheless, as a Democrat, I’m happy to be credited for that supporting sexual freedom part.

If Mitch Daniels keeps saying no, perhaps . . .

Only The Onion.

Mitch Daniels just went on the teevee

Is somebody peeking over the fence a bit? Have the grand poobahs of the Grand Old  Party been hanging around Indiana again?

 “Let’s not kid ourselves: this is the worst recovery ever from a serious recession, and history says the deeper the down, the sharper the up,” Daniels said on CNN’s State of the Union. “It should have been a very vigorous one. Hasn’t been.”

An  appearance on the second tier of the Sunday gang-bangapaloozaa - and CNN’s State of the Union is certainly that – might mean nothing other than that the Governor of Indiana is concerned about the  economy. (And he really really meant it when he said last time he wouldn’t be a candidate.)