(I’m climbing into bed now and biting my knuckles to stop the screaming.)
(I’m climbing into bed now and biting my knuckles to stop the screaming.)
Remember Glenn Beck, the batshit crazy one who was a bit too much even for FOX? The one who found Communist-conspiracies hidden in the 1930 bas-relief sculptures of Rockefeller Center? The guy with the blackboard? The one oddly obsessed with Hitler?
He’s on his own these days, has been for a while. He now has an online “TV show” and his webzine The Blaze, always good for a little recreational surfing. There’s an article there today that has the right-wing noise machine all a-twitter.
The article is written by a guy who says he was at Columbia with Obama and also says Obama wasn’t really there. Let me repeat: he says he was somewhere with someone who wasn’t there. Or, Obama was there but no one saw him. Or Obama got terrible grades but he wasn’t there. Or, he was a foreign exchange student and also he wasn’t there. And his evidence is, well, here it is:
I smell something rotten in Denmark. Obama has a big skeleton in his closet. It’s his college records. Call it “gut instinct” but my gut is almost always right.
Reading it all will waste your time, but if you’re sufficiently masochistic, it’s here. Being at The Blaze put me in mind of Lewis Black’s classic take down of Glenn Beck. Pure comedy genius. And this one is worth your time.
How do I explain to other adults of my certain age that I am dyyying to see this movie?
So, I’m emptying the dishwasher, headphones on, listening to Colbert from last night. His guest is the actress Diane Keaton who apparently thought she was being funny. She wasn’t; major fail.
She was so weird she even threw Colbert a few times. I have never seen that happen before.
Girls, it does not get better than this. Where has Ann Friedman been all my life???? Brilliant. She calls this “International Slutty Women’s Day: A Story in GIF’s” and if you don’t go there and see the entire thing, I’ll never talk to you again.
Maru is back in tip top form which I define as making me laugh out loud (at 1:01). And does Maru not live in the freaking cleanest house you’ve ever seen? I think those trash cans have been polished.
Only The Onion.
I think the recent Catholic objection to paying for contraception was not without merit on First Amendment grounds. But that’s the constitutional part. I am otherwise delighted to join in the mockery, so richly deserved.
This Monty Python classic has been getting a bit of play around the interwebs today. (Should I email it to the local archbishop I wonder? It might be okay cuz it’s not about lady parts.)
He does a damn good Bowie. Here is “Tim Tebow to Jesus Christ”
The classic – on SNL: he did this every year for many years. Sadly, this one isn’t the best version, but hey, can’t let the season go by without it.
Linda Holmes at NPR’s website had some fun yesterday, inventing 20 ficitonal commenters and their comments. They’re right on. Here are her “20 Unhappiest People You Meet in the Comments Sections of End of the Year Lists”:
1. The Poisoned. “The fact that you included Adele on this list of 100 things you like makes it a total joke.”
2. The Really Pretty Sure Person, Who Is Really Pretty Sure. “I’ve never seen Game Of Thrones, but I’m really pretty sure it’s not as good as Boardwalk Empire.”
3. The Person Who Is Exactly Right. “It really seems like this list of things you thought were good is just your opinion.”
4. The Surprisingly Lucid Narcoleptic. “ZZZZZZZZZ” is the classic. “SNORE” and “YAWN” are acceptable variants.
5. The Mother Of Tim “Freckles” Matterley. “There is a musician in Ann Arbor named Tim Matterley who is better than all these songs! You would like his music. He has a web site at FrecklesMatterley.com, and you can get his songs free on your computer! Please check out Tim Matterley, who does not have a big record contract YET but is very very good!!!!” Two comments later, she will often come back. “Also, Tim Matterley is in this YouTube video where he plays ‘Imagine’ at a children hospital. I am just one fan but I think he is great and he will go far!!!”
Thanks to aFrankAngle for this gem. He dropped it in comments on the last post.
You’ll be glad if you stay to the end; it’s short. And clever. And funny. And kind of endearing.
I could watch these guys all day. (Thanks friend Shep for this one)
I watched the repeat last night of the Mark Twain Award ceremony from 2008. George Carlin was the honoree - posthumously, as he’d died only a few months before. It’s nice to know that he knew about it and was even planning his speech. They showed this video – see what a nice Irish Catholic boy from Queens NY can do!
Cute kittehs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cute kittehs everywhere. And they pretend they’re the ones being pushed around by the big bad humans, but I ask you – who’s really in charge here?
(thanks friend Shep)
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing’s moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls it down and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress! They’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”
“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.
The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”
(Thanks to friend Jane.)
Mike Tyson? Mike Tyson? Criminey, the guy is good!
Here, perhaps the best Seth Myers rant ever. He has some fun with the Eurozone crisis and the Greek debt and wonders if the 17 countries of Europe can agree on how to solve the problems, when a unanimous vote is required:
Unanimous? I can’t get three friends to agree on a restaurant. Can you imagine how hard it would be if none of us spoke the same language and our grandparents killed each other in World War II?
We’ve got a release here and a good looking news reader – who needs rewrite?
Not really. But The Capital Steps do it for them. Friend Jane sent this:
These guys are basically a performance troupe. (The videos come from Herbunk, who makes lots of cool stuff.) By the way, I’ ve seen The Steps on stage; they’re a hoot and not a bit partisan – it’s equal opportunity mockery for them.
Here in SW Florida, a serious civil liberties issue is brewing. Ego Leonard (left) was enjoying an innocent afternoon on Siesta Key when a paranoid citizen dialed 911. And the fellow was taken into custody.
Ego’s a big fella – 8 feet tall and, um, husky, but that wasn’t enough to save himself from the grasp of Sheriff’s deputies. They grabbed him, and excused their outrategous act by saying he’s ‘property’. That’s nonsense of course – one might as well say corporations are people which we know is ridiculous.
The Sheriff’s office, claiming they don’t know who owns’ this ‘property’ now has him confined, possibly in chains! Oh, the indignity, the humiliation.
Lego Man wears a t-shirt with a mysterious message. Even now linguists at universities around the country (none in Florida; our Governor won’t permit it) are poring over the enigmatic words “No Real Than You Are” trying to discern their meaning (it does sound a bit like something from Stephen Colbert, does it not?).
And meanwhile, as this innocent fellow is in the crude custody of government, good civil libertarians (as well as those artsy types) continue the good fight. Lego Man will not be abandoned. Lego Man will be free!